


Those Chills That I Knew (They Were Nothing Without You)

by jungkooksfic



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode 8 (I think) spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Langa too, M/M, Mentions of Langa's dad, PLS i love them so much, Rain, Reki just needs a hug, Spoilers, The end is happy I promise, They love each other so much, no beta reader we die like men, pls I need the next episode so badly, someone hold me, the title is from a Joji song, what else do i put in the tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-24 15:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30074652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungkooksfic/pseuds/jungkooksfic
Summary: As the rain fell harder, Langa realized just how much he and Reki needed each other. It was immeasurable, their needs for one another, needs that scared them both.But here they were, unable to stay apart for too long.(Or, what if Langa didn't let Reki walk away?)
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 9
Kudos: 211





	Those Chills That I Knew (They Were Nothing Without You)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi-hi!  
> !!WARNING: this has spoilers from the anime!! by the time I posted this, episode 9 (and that stupid filler episode) were out!!  
> In case you browsed the tags, you got a good idea of what this fic is going to look like :3   
> Don't let the angst tags scare you away! I really did try my best to capture the essence of how much Langa and Reki love/need each other. 
> 
> Happy reading!

Langa was lost.

To be honest, he had been lost for longer than he’d like to admit.

Maybe if he weren’t just a boy, he’d have something smart to say about the loss of his father, like how he learned how supportive his mother really is, and how intuitive she can be.

But Langa was just a boy. A kid, and he was expected to pack his bags and step on a plane that would fly him from one side of the globe to another. Actually, he couldn’t find it in himself as each scene looked like the other at home, a dull record stuck on loop.

But there was one _huge_ problem.

_“There’s not much snow here,” Langa had said, head tilting to the side from where it had been pressed against the passenger window. His mother gives him a weary smile,_

_“We’ll go back to Canada for winter break,” she assures him._

Langa noticed something then. She said _Canada,_ not _home._

But then the world decided to let a ray of sunshine into the dark place his life had become. This ray of sunshine was in the form of a rather boisterous, rather _obnoxious_ individual Langa would never, ever see himself gravitating towards. Langa would’ve never guessed how close they would become.

See, the thing that drew Langa to skateboarding was that he knew close to nothing about it, aside from its parallels with snowboarding. And, arguably, this is the same mindset that drew him to Reki; he didn’t know much of _anything_ that went on in the redhead’s mind aside from the many words he said aloud.

The only difference between skateboarding and Reki, nowadays, was that Langa thought he had a lot of Reki figured out. It was natural, really, as the two acted as if they were attached at the hip. Back in Canada, Langa wasn’t too interested in constantly being surrounded by people, especially in the latter few months he spent there. But Reki… he was different.

Despite being the loudest person Langa had ever met, Reki was the best listener, too. Reki knew when to be quiet when Langa would get that distant, far-away look when he saw some kind of connection, some kind of reminder that he wasn’t where he belonged, which was Canada, in the snow, with the weather that pricked at his skin and made him shiver through his thick layers of coats.

But the more time Langa spent alongside Reki, he thought maybe Japan was his home after all.

Langa had grown so tired, so _sick_ of people in Canada saying they would “always be there for him” but act bewildered when he couldn’t find the energy to get out of bed.

On the contrary, Reki would crawl through Langa’s bedroom window if he left him on delivered for too long over the weekends, poke his limp form in bed, and even if Langa would be blankly staring at the ceiling without a word to say, Reki would just lay beside him, give his hip a weak pat, and talk to him about something stupid. Maybe it was about how his younger sisters pranked him that morning by hiding his bento behind the toaster, or maybe it was about the skateboard he’d stayed up crafting.

After these somewhat therapeutic tangents, Reki would sigh, stretch, and sit up before giving Langa’s shoulder a gentle prod to gain his eye contact.

 _“Ready to get up?”_ Reki would ask, those bright, amber eyes glimmering in the afternoon sunlight.

He really was the brightest star, wasn’t he?

Langa sure thought so.

And then he dimmed, exploded, and vanished from the sky.

Langa’s heart would uncomfortably twist in his chest whenever he’d see those previously bright, limitless eyes filled with blank, nonexistent light. He felt the butterflies in his stomach flutter to nothing when he’d just _watch_ as Reki got further and further away from him to the point where if Langa reached out a hand, he’d only grip empty air.

Immediately, he tried to analyze any ways he could have hurt him, or could have messed up. At first, he wondered if Reki got bored of him, but he knew better; Reki was better. Then he wondered if it was because Reki was going _through_ something, and though that would be the easiest scenario to digest, Langa couldn’t help from just _wondering._

Was it his fault?

**Langa:**

Hey, I’m coming over

I didn’t see you at lunch today

Did you forget to write your essay again? Lol

Reki?

Your mom said you’re not here

There was just one more message he wanted to send, one more line to make the word _Delivered_ scoot down a little further.

You’re scaring me

You’re scaring m|

You’re scar|

You’re s|

You|

Y|

He hated how needy he sounded.

I need you|

I need y|

I nee|

I|

And he hated how true it was.

Langa decided to have dinner with Reki’s family that night, which wasn’t an unusual occurrence to put it lightly, but what was unusual was the empty seat beside Langa. Actually, Langa and Reki were neck-and-neck with who had a bigger appetite, but it was safe to say that neither of them would willingly skip a meal.

Langa stayed after dinner that night, his phone’s ringer on and the device clutched in his hand with more neediness than he’d like, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He wanted his best friend back.

The rain fell with heavy pellets, falling against the pavement with sounds of _pat pat pat_ as Langa waited impatiently in the archway leading to Reki’s house.

But even when Reki came over to him, hair damp and in his eyes, clothes soaked and limbs dragging him forward, Langa felt something uncomfortable in his stomach.

He felt like the roles had flipped, because silence wasn’t Reki’s thing. That was _Langa’s_ thing.

Even as Reki’s face was illuminated with the light of the flickering street lamp, his eyes still looked dark.

“You and I… aren’t a good match anymore.”

Those were the last words Langa heard before he suddenly noticed how hard the rain was falling. How cold he was. He felt his own lanky limbs shiver from under the meager shirt he’d decided on. The rain was so heavy he couldn’t even see much through his own soaked hair, but he could _feel_ Reki’s sadness from the many feet that separated them.

Langa watched as Reki let his own hair fall in his face, the usual bright and obnoxious crimson shade fading into something more dull with the rain as gradually, Reki’s feet guided him to turn away from Langa. Even further away than he already was.

Langa watched as Reki walked, steps slow but certain, the sounds of his feet drowning in the noises of the heavy rain. Langa’s hand tightened around the skateboard he held, the very skateboard Reki had made him.

But Langa’s legs propelled him forward before he asked them to, his arms reached and reached before he could stop himself, and before he knew it, he was grabbing for Reki’s wrist, grabbing for _Reki,_ to stop him from going so, so far away.

Reki didn’t even look surprised by the action as absently, he lifts his head to meet Langa’s eyes.

“What?” Reki asks, his voice worn and tired from the good deal of shouting he’d done. His hand hung limp in Langa’s.

Langa gulps. He could recount many times when he’d grabbed for Reki’s wrist to keep him from falling, and he could recount many times when Reki had done the same.

Now here Langa was, clutching Reki’s wrist. Not to keep him from falling, but somehow Langa felt as if Reki still needed to be caught.

“What do you want?” Reki enunciates, and Langa’s throat feels all the more tight at the tiredness in his voice. Langa searches his eyes for signs, any signs of uncertainty and sadness, but it seemed he was running into a wall every time he looked.

“You- that’s-” Langa struggles with his words for a second as really, he had too much to say to fit it all into one sentence. But Langa takes a breath, and tries again. “Don’t _say_ that.”

“Say what?” Reki inquires, eventually gathering enough energy to pull— no, rip— his hand from Langa’s grip. At first, Langa panicked in the fear that Reki would leave if he let go. But instead, he stayed put.

“That… that we’re not a good match,” Langa says. “Don’t- don’t _say_ that you can’t keep up-”

“Why not?” Reki reels, his eyes flaring again. Langa takes a cautious step back. “Because it’s- because it’s the _fucking_ truth?”

Langa’s brows draw together. What was he _talking_ about? “Reki-”

“You know what I want to know? Why you’re wasting your time with people who clearly aren’t offering you anything.”

Langa searches his eyes again. He still finds no clues for what’s going on in Reki’s head. He really didn’t know what he was talking about. “Are you trying to say that you don’t-”

Reki throws back his head and _laughs,_ but it isn’t out of joy, out of excitement or giddiness like he always used to do. It was so bitter and hallow sounding that Langa couldn’t even recognize it. “Open your eyes, Langa! I’m just a fuckin’ _muffle_ on you! I’m a- a- a sidekick!” It was starting to make more sense now. “Your role is to be the rookie, the prodigy that fell out of the sky— my role is to be the- the dumbass redhead who just- follows you around.” There’s another weak laugh. “You know what? I don’t feel like holding you back anymore.”

Langa sensed Reki turning away from him before he witnessed it, but once again, he reached out for him, but instead of gripping his wrist, he settled for his forearm. Reki whirled on him and instead of looking mildly surprised, he just looked angry. Yet, before he opened his mouth to likely shout again, Langa spoke first.

“No,” Langa says simply. Reki’s brows raise at him. “No, Reki- you don’t get to- to-” He tries to get his words together, but his throat was closing, closing, closing- why was it that Reki was the one who was always so good with words, and Langa was so good at following his lead? Why was it that _Langa_ had to take the lead now?

However, it was the small action of Reki prying himself from Langa’s grip that kick-started Langa’s brain back to life before all at once, Langa bursts, “you don’t _get_ to talk about yourself like that!”

Reki freezes. The rain comes down harder than before, if possible. But Reki just looks at him, likely shell-shocked as Langa hardly spoke louder than a loud inside voice. Now that the ball was rolling, it couldn’t stop. The words Langa had been harboring for too long were tumbling from his lips before he could second-guess them and reel them back in as the dam _broke._

“You don’t get to- to stand here and act like you’re some kind of burden! You don’t _get_ to avoid me and act like it’s for my own good because, believe it or not, I-” _I think I love you._ “-I _need_ you.”

Reki scoffs, but his eyes were softening. “You don’t,” he says as more of a bluff.

Langa challenges him. “Of course I do,” he says in a voice so soft he was sure it had been drowned out by the rain, but the look in Reki’s eyes told him he’d head every word.

“But- but you have everyone else in the world,” Reki says, but he didn’t sound so angry and tough anymore. His voice was breaking. “Why do you need _me?”_

_Who the hell planted the idea in Reki’s mind that he wasn’t the backbone of his family and friends?_

Langa could answer that question in a collection of ways. He needed to see Reki’s face before he stepped foot on a skateboard. He needed someone’s texts to wake up to, and a reason to get out of bed. He needed someone to smile at him and tease him and be so loud when he wasn’t supposed to be. He needed someone to keep him up at night with thoughts he didn’t know the answers to. He needed someone to look through his delicately crafted facade and call bullshit on his excuses of why he wasn’t answering the phone. He needed someone who would sit in the rain with him without an umbrella. He needed someone to drag him up to his feet after he’d made a fool of himself.

He needed Reki.

“You have no idea,” Langa whispers, “you have no idea how- how. How lost I was before I met you.”

Reki looked up at him, and _really_ looked at him, but before he could open his mouth and deny again, Langa held out his pinkie finger to him with an optimism he didn’t know he had. “I know I broke our last promise,” Langa starts, voice timid, “so… let’s make a new one.” Reki didn’t step away from him, so he figured that was a good sign. “Will you promise me that you won’t leave again?”

Now it was Reki’s turn to look up at search Langa’s eyes, the bright irises roaming from his extended pinkie finger and the promise that came with it to Langa’s steely, determined expression.

Then Reki caved in, all at once. He pushed Langa’s hand aside and practically _leapt_ on him in a bear-hug of an embrace that, at first, Langa was shocked by. But it was so typical, and so _Reki_ that immediately his arms fastened tight around him. The rain didn’t lighten but neither of them cared as they just held each other tightly as they’d been separated for so, so long.

“I won’t leave you,” Reki says, voice quivering. Langa could tell he was crying from how his shoulders shook and how his hands fisted up the material of Langa’s shirt.

Langa couldn’t tell if he was crying, too, but if he was, it must’ve been out of pure relief that Reki was in his arms, he was _in his arms,_ and safe, and here.

“I’m sorry,” Reki sobs, his face burying deeper and deeper into Langa’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t have- I was being so-”

“Don’t be sorry,” Langa says, because in all truth, he wasn’t frustrated with Reki, really. Maybe at first, where his frustrations with his own loneliness were projected onto the situation, but there was no true resentment to Reki, ever. “Don’t be sorry,” Langa repeats, quieter, but Reki seems to hear him as the crying seems to lighten.

Who in the _world_ told Reki he wasn’t the brightest star in the sky?

And, as they eventually pulled away, drenched and shivering, both with red-rimmed eyes and runny noses, Langa looked down at Reki and felt the overwhelming need to protect him from life and all the pains that came with it. As Reki laughed sheepishly and wiped his nose on his sleeve, Langa felt such a crushing need to tell him he was worthy of the biggest praises.

“Langa?” Reki questions eventually, voice still thick and a little weak. Langa perks at the sound of his name. They were both still a little broken, and still in the rain, but neither cared, much. “There’s something else I’ve been worried about.”

Langa raises his brows. This was great, how he confronted Reki and now Reki was really diving into his worries. It was wonderful to see. “What is it?”

Reki bits his lip in momentary consideration in a way that makes Langa’s heart squeeze in his chest before Reki finally says, “I get it if you think this is weird,” he starts off. “But- I guess part of why the reason I was kinda- y’know, ghosting you… was because I…” Reki scratches the back of his head, “wow, what am I even saying?”

“Take your time,” Langa urges.

Of course, Reki didn’t _know_ how to take his time as instead, he looks Langa dead in the eyes and just blurts, “I think I like you-!”

Langa’s eyes widen.

No.

No, there’s no way that actually happened. Is this a dream? Is he tripping on _acid_ right now?

But it had to be real, because Reki was doing that thing where he fiddled with his hoodie drawstrings and rambled when he was nervous, his eyes looking anywhere but Langa, “now, I know that’s really sudden and we _just_ made up but I thought I should get it out of the way in case you want to cut ties so we can just do it _now_ and don’t drag it out because we might as well end this before it gets too painful and-”

Langa blinked once, then twice as Reki rambled on and on, words tumbling thoughtlessly as his fiddling only became more intense as seconds ticked by, but Langa was simply trying to process. So… Reki had avoided him in fear of holding him back and not being good enough… but he also was avoiding his own romantic feelings?

Langa’s brain short circuited.

“-why are you just standing there? Did I fuck this up? Can you please reject me so we can, like, never see each other again and we can get this over with and-”

Langa stepped forward before he really thought it through and, very awkwardly but with certainty, he leaned down and pressed a prompt kiss to Reki’s lips.

Well, that was one way to get Reki out of his tangents.

Now it was Reki’s turn to fail to process as his eyes widened more and more as slowly, he brought a finger to his own lips. Langa was sure he hadn’t done it right, too much force and too little time, but his lips tingled with proof that it happened. Langa felt his own face heating up quicker and quicker as he watched the realization settle in with Reki, too.

“Uh,” Reki says intelligently, “you- are you. Did you? Wait. WHAT?!”

Langa bites back a smile at how damn _cute_ Reki was when he got all loud and confused like that. “Sorry!” Langa bursts, “It’s just- I’m- well, I’ve been confused about, well- how I feel about you, I guess, so that kinda cleared it up for me. Yeah.” Langa gulps as he looks down at Reki in mild confusion until Reki seemed to be glowing brighter and brighter until the light reached his cheeks and smile and eyes.

And so the star was back. Reki’s eyes were bright with excitement and his nose scrunched with how big his smile was.

“Alright,” Reki says nonchalantly, grinning that idiot grin he has. “Let’s try that again, then?”

Langa gives off a laugh, a relieved, relieved laugh as he lets Reki tug his face down closer and closer until their faces were only separated by centimeters of space.

And Langa held his face as if he were made of the most delicate glass in the world before he kissed him. For real, this time, not the awkward crushing of lips with too much emotion and too little experience. Langa held Reki close by his cheeks and Reki’s arms wound around his neck, and he was probably on his tip-toes (Langa would be sure to tease him about that later). His lips were a little chapped, but _wow_ was it perfect.

So _this_ is what kissing is supposed to feel like.

He feels rain smooth down his face but their lips refuse to part as they kiss, mouths connected and hands holding each other a little desperately. It felt natural even as Reki’s teeth inadvertently brush against his bottom lip and their noses bump together, it makes them laugh but they keep kissing anyway.

“Would you boys quit with the hanky-panky and get back inside before you both catch a cold?”

In an instant, the kiss was broken at the sounds of Reki’s mother’s voice. Despite the lack of kissing, they still held each other close, faces warm and expressions resembling that of deer caught in headlights.

Yeah, maybe making out in front of the doorway to Reki’s house wasn’t the best idea.


End file.
